Take Control Blog

Just In Case!! Lose Your Heart, Not Your Mind – The Smart Woman’s Guide to Marriage and Self-Sufficiency

In her book, “Just In Case!! Lose Your Heart, Not Your Mind – The Smart Woman’s Guide to Marriage and Self-Sufficiency”,  author Aliette H. Carolan, Esq. aims to provoke critical thinking in women through self and financial awareness.

The book takes the reader through what they need to do, step by step, to assure a secure future.  It’s never too early, although it can be too late if one waits too long.  Aliette speaks from personal experience and from the experiences of the many women she’s helped through her practice, as they sought to end their marriages and come out with the best deal possible.  The book shares some of these client stories.

Aliette’s approach isn’t emotional, biased or vindictive, as these approaches fail. Instead, the author advocates the use of reason and logic.  The advice shared is what Aliette would give her best friends to spare them heartache and regret.  Follow the advice given and chances neither will be experienced; because in the end, the only person one can completely rely on is yourself.

In the book, Aliette stresses how important it is to be honest with yourself, even if it can feel hard-hearted to do so.  It’s essential to honestly answer questions, like “Do I want to spend my life with a man who doesn’t make a lot of money, or who doesn’t like to do the things that I like to do?” Being honest in the beginning, before making commitments, is essential to sanity later on.

For this article, The Big Kaboom asked Aliette for insights into some of the questions our clients seem to always want answers to.

TBK:  When is the most important time to protect your financial interests? 

ALIETTE:  It happens to be when it is also the hardest time to do so – when you’ve just fallen in love.  You want to “show him how much you love him” and so you find it uncomfortable to protect your interests.  If you didn’t do it at the beginning, start now.

TBK:  If you’re only wondering about or thinking about a divorce what should you do?

ALIETTE:  See a family law attorney, now. This can be the best investment you can make in self-protection.  If you might soon be dividing all of your assets and arguing over custody of your children and pets, be smart and explore your options and strategies now.  Don’t wait until everything’s a mess.

TBK:  What is the number one piece of advise you offer to someone who is thinking about divorce?

ALIETTE:  Be prepared.  Even if your husband is a financial genius and you trust him completely, it’s still downright irresponsible to leave everything in his hands and leave yourself in the dark.  Know what you have, where it all is and how to get to it.